d-day

tmr is a big day. tmr is the day where we will know who gets to go to redmond. tmr will be a day of mixed feelings.

today was and is a big day too. chem test, which was okay...and the completion of ipic and cf stuff, which has yet to come. i will not elaborate further. today is and will be a day of mixed feelings.

so well, we talked about suicide, specifically about a guy who wanted to commit suicide at a train station:

a humiliated guy, belittled and looked down upon, even laughed at by the inanimate rocks that line his school garden. the world had lost hope for him, and so had he, for the world and for himself. the screeching of the train could be heard in the distance, and he prepared himself for the big moment. it is disturbing for the other commuters, but to him, it was a time of peace, a time to let his hair down even if he didn't have any on his gleaming round head.

he takes a deep breath, probably one of his last, and counts down. the moment of truth arrives as his feet leave the mrt platform. it soared past the yellow line on the floor, a sign of reaching his goal, and clinching his prize, of death.

he banged into something hard, and for once in his entire sorrowful life, a smile appeared on his face. the rest is probably quite obvious, but well, i shall continue on for the juicy details (=

hmm, i didn't mention the fact that this guy lagged...a lot. so well, we know that his heart had told his brain that he wanted to die, and so, his brain instructed his feet to lift his body off the ground and into the path of the oncoming train.

sounds like a successful suicide mission, but when he did all that, of course very slowly...the train had come to a stop and its doors had slided open. oh well, so he did jump......into the train.

this crest-fallen guy sighed as the man he banged into, when he jumped onto the train, cursed and sweared at him. it didn't bother him anymore, as such trivial things were already part and parcel of his woeful life. but well, it did seem lucky for him, or maybe funny to you out there.

but to him, it meant that even the mighty heavens and abyss of hell had denied him entry into their kingdoms. haiz, everyone sincerely hated him...

and it was then that he finally made the biggest decision of his life after this screwed up plan to kill himself. he would become a martian, at least mars didn't hate him...yet...

lol, a senseless story to cool the beast in me. been rather angry and pissed off at myself for countless things, of which i shall depend on my helpful companion, God, to take care of. shall try not to vent my anger elsewhere then, and pls remind me if i do so.

back to work, yikes...but i thank god that i have god, haha